Sex Education is for females

I had an epiphany today. Lately I've been really thinking on the whole reproductive rights/war on women thing and I've come to the conclusion that, yes, there is a war on women. Men don't have to deal with cramping/bloating/bleeding every month. Men don't have to deal with their moods being blamed on said cramping/bloating/bleeding. Men are never hobbled by pregnancy. Never put on bed rest so that they can deliver a healthy child into the world. Men are not taught to not have sex so they won't get pregnant. Hell, they're not even taught to not have sex so their partners won't get pregnant.

And that leads to the epiphany. Sex education benefits women and girls. STD prevention is a minor piece in the whole puzzle and while inconvenient, most STDs are curable or manageable and invisible. Pregnancy, however, is extremely visible. By not teaching our daughters/nieces/females/ future mothers how to protect themselves from pregnancy (and disease that can make them infertile in later years) we are allowing people (Men, Fundamentalists and dreamers) to literally retard the potential of millions of teenage girls. Everyone knows that lack of sex ed and abstinence only ed do not prevent teenagers from having sex. What they prevent is an easy way for WOMEN to get reliable information about not becoming a statistic.

There are better ways to put this but that's it. The war on women has been going on longer than I thought. And that is evidenced by the fact that we don't teach our girl children how to avoid having their lives at least severely derailed by unintended pregnancy. And the boys get off scott free. Women need to see this and unite. It's getting ridiculous.

DWTS

Been in a funk lately. Hormones gone wild. But, at least there's decent TV on Mondays now that DWTS is back.

Life without Facebook

Yesterday I was tired of everyone I know and how much they suck and I dumped Facebook. Now it's an exercise in control for me but, damn, there's so much less to check on the interwebs if you're not always checking in on Facebook. What to do when I need 30 seconds of downtime?

Friendless

I realized today that I have no friends. The catalyst for this epiphany is stupid, really. I entered a t-shirt design contest and made the finals. The final t-shirt design will be chosen by a popular vote. I know how these things work, the person who reaches the most other people will win the contest, regardless of whether or not they have the best design. I have - had, really - 200+ facebook friends, so I figured I'd put out a call for votes in my status update and I'd probably get between 1/8 and 1/4 of my friends to vote. I wasn't expecting to win, I was expecting to lose but I wasn't expecting to lose because I only have 6 votes - two of which are from people I've never heard of and 2 of which are me and my husband, which leaves 2 that are actually people known to me. That's less than 1% - of people who are constantly asking me for things.

It hurt. I'm not a crier and I cried. I cried a lot. I've now disabled facebook and signed out of twitter and pinterest. I have no interest in people who can't spend 6 seconds to do me a rather small but not insignificant favor. It was free, it was juried (which means it's not like I submitted something with a bazillion other people and we're all clamoring blindly for votes), it had a prize that has a lot of value to me. And no one could be bothered.

I now feel like I have a much better grasp on how alone I am in the world. Maybe I'll use all my facebook wittiness on this blog now.

New Year's Eve, 2010

Because it's not New Year's Eve in 2011, despite the fact that everyone seems to think it is. It's also not a full-on holiday in itself. Like, when people wish you a Happy New Years, WHAT are they saying?? Happy New Year's Eve? What about the other 364 days? Bugs me.

Anywho. I've been awesome keeping this blog up, I know. In my defense, I did have a baby and finish a Master's in Education so I've been busy. I keep meaning to keep notes of advice to my daughter and I keep thinking of that advice in places where it is impossible to take notes. Like driving down the highway in traffic with blinding sun glare, not the ideal moment to catalog pearls of wisdom, unless that pearl is always have sun glasses and wiper fluid in your car.

Right, so New Year's resolutions, which I also kept meaning to write down when I thought of them so I could hold myself accountable. We can guess how well that turned out. I'm going to make an attempt to list what I remember, however, and maybe occasionally document progress or lack thereof throughout the year.

1) Lose the damn baby weight and the extra 20lbs that crept on before the baby.
1a) exercise 5 times per week
1b) think before eating crap and stop mindlessly stuffing it in my face, when I do
eat crap, savor it so I can eat less of it.

2) STOP BEING SO JUDGEY AND WANTY:
2a) accept that husband is NOT going to change how he does things so I need to change
how I react to them
2b) I have what millions of mothers would kill for (probably until they have it) - I stay at
home with my child (for the time being) and I need to stop thinking it's drudgery and
see it as a privilege


It's almost time for dinner. I'll work on more later, but I think those two are the big ones. Also: Glass half full, glass half-full....repeat.

Everyone else is doing it!

Apparently not so ambivalent about the parenting after all. Also a convenient excuse for not posting in 18 months (the baby is only 7 months old, but add in pregnancy and the fact that I never posted regularly to begin with and BAM. 18 months.

I'm starting a series of advice to my infant daughter -because I keep thinking of these pearls of wisdom (cliche and otherwise) and I tell her what they are but, she's only 7 months old, so I KNOW it's not sinking in and I don't want to forget them when she's older and will understand.

Today's one is:

Just because everyone else is doing it DOES NOT mean that you should. AKA: If everyone else jumped off of a bridge, would you?

To which the obvious answer (snarkily used by me when my mom would say the aforementioned) is, "depends on the bridge, duh." But removing yourself a little bit from the obvious and it's a great piece of advice. Be yourself, don't let peer pressure make you anything less than yourselves. Advertisers, friends, foes, most of the world works tirelessly to get you to go with the flow and not rock the boat (woohoo water metaphors). Sometimes they are entirely appropriate actions. However, many times they are not. Bridge jumping if you don't want to, no matter the bridge, is not a good idea. Drinking/doing drugs/having sex/getting some sort of body modification from tattoos to plastic surgery to piercings just because all your friends have done so is NOT A VALID REASON. Exploring magic mushrooms to more deeply investigate the spiritual possibilities is a far more valid reason for tripping your ass of than is, "well, Danny was doing it so I did too." Know why you're doing what you're doing (from eating the food you eat to buying a car to taking route A over route B) is invaluable.

Which is a perfect segue to the next piece of advice: Be mindful. To be explored next time. Hopefully sooner than 18 months from now.

Men don't have these problems

I'm going to post comments that I make on other websites that I think are good.

This one is from boston brahmina in response to people being all judgemental on the woman-folk, in particular M.I.A. performing at the Grammys in all her pregnant glory (something I did not see and really don't have an opinion about - but apparently loads of people do).

Ya know, we’re just damned if we do and damned if we don’t.

Women who don’t have or don’t want children are given a hard time for missing out on the one thing their bodies were designed for. Woman who do have children can be called selfish for bringing yet another human into this over crowded world when there are already tons of humans who need some love. Women who have abortions are cruel and don’t believe in the sanctity of life. Women who destroy froze totsicles are baby killers. Women who use all said totsicles are discussed AD NAUSEUM by every Tom, Dick, Harry, Mary and Ann. Breastfeeding in public - no way! Use a bottle - don’t you know breastmilk is best??? And the dirt issue, the pre-pre-pre-pre school issue, the work or stay home issue. This could take days. I’m stopping now.

What’s a girl to do?

And, bet your ass if men were the ones having babies, NONE of this would ever be an issue. (Provided that men as procreaters (sp?) wouldn’t just flip the balance of power to women, thereby essentially making women men and men women.)

Also, I would not be against hearing your take on the aforementioned case of the utilization of all your totsicles (which are embryos in the freezer).

Babies...other peoples

I have long maintained that I am ambivalent about parenting/becoming a parent/having children and or motherhood. So what does the fact that the majority of my bookmarked blogs are parenting blogs say about my stance?

I don't know.

Les Miserables

A friend posted on Facebook that she was attending a showing of Les Mis and it brought back the following story. Notes: I was a musical geek and a bunch of my friends were too. I had seen Phantom like 3 times by this point, probably Miss Saigon and Kiss of the Spider Woman - Les Mis was what I was missing.

I fell asleep when I saw it. Ooops. I've always loved the songs so I had the soundtrack FOREVER (This was senior year of h.s.) and I liked to sleep to it - I don't know why. Then it came to Boston and my friend and I got tickets (separate seats, there were actually 4 of us) and it was the night after prom. I had gone to bed at like 6am and then gone to some track meet for heaven knows what reason and then come home for Les Mis. We left. Were supposed to go to dinner in Boston before the show but we got there and I had forgotten my ticket. We went home (like 1/2 hour, faster cause Patrick was driving and pissed), got my ticket, ate at McDonalds on the way back and made it in time for the show. I went to my seat, everyone else went to theirs and they came to see me at intermission and I was sound asleep and snoring. But I've since seen it on PBS and enjoyed it :-)

I'll probably come back and edit this later. But it's a funny story to have saved somewhere.

The Last 20 Years

So, I read an old(ish) blog entry at the Letter B today about a 20 year reunion and the 1 paragraph life summary that would be given at such event. I'm a wee bit younger than the Letter B, so 20 years ago I was not graduating from high school, nor was I in high school. I was 11 (or 12) depending on when you're counting from and how old I think I am today...I'm 31. I swear I was just 25 and sometimes I wake up and think I'm 32. I don't know. Right. Onward.

I give you my life since the age of 11 (or 12 - ish):

Finished up 6, 7, & 8th grade at St. Patrick School in Lawrence, MA. Ever the rebel child, I did not matriculate to either of the all-female Catholic high schools in the area but instead went to Lawrence High (where I was assured I would not last and people had been shot). Had a great time in high school - managed the volleyball, wrestling & baseball teams, was involved, got good grades, acted in some non-school plays, goofed off. Graduated high school 3rd in my class (or 4th or 2nd, it doesn't really matter, does it?) - and went off to Tulane University in New Orleans for college. (It was a tie between Hamilton in upstate NY and Tulane...parents said that they could not picture me in NOLA - plus I think they were having a pretty good shooting year. Picked Tulane - this is a theme). Hated it for the first semester. Stubborn bitch that I am told myself I would stay for a full year. It is a well known fact that you cannot hate New Orleans during the 2nd semester or spring - because you have the Super Bowl (which actually took place in NOLA twice while I was there), then MARDI GRAS, then St. Patrick's Day, Spring Break and JAZZFEST and then you're done. It's a veritable whirlwind of activity. Came home and worked my summer job (woohoo York Beach Dairy Bar - from age 14 to age 22) - went back to Tualne. Managed the volleyball team and traveled all around - not as fun as in high school, involved lots of laundry. Again, fall semester, not my favorite but knew spring was coming. Nothing really exciting for the next couple of years. Learned to love New Orleans, made some excellent friends, worked in Maine in the summers, graduated from college. One last summer in Maine. Moved back to New Orleans - worked at Tulane, O'flaherty's, and Margaritaville (among others that I would sooner forget) - not the best use of a BA in Art History, was desperately poor and had a fantastic time. Took up with a Rock Band (Tom's House), played mom, girlfriend or wife as was called for - icky girl won't leave: girlfriend or wife; need to go home already: mom. Met some super duper cool people. Moved home in 2002 after losing forgetable job. Lived with parents, worked at hotel in Boston (as a glorified secretary, again, not the best use of a college degree or MY college degree). Moved out of parents' house and into the apartment of my now husband. Started dating husband. Got a dog. Went to NOLA as much as possible. Scammed me a job at Jazzfest working security. Got engaged. Had THE BEST Wedding in NOLA in June of 2007. Quit/lost hotel job in August 2007, enrolled in a master's program for secondary education at UMass Boston in January of 2008. Now it's Christmas 2008, almost finished with my masters and getting a little antsy for a trip to NOLA but it's almost Jazzfest.

El fin.

NaBloPoMo

I am totally bummed by the end of NaBloPoMo! Not because I was writing every day, because I obviously was not. But because so many of the blogs I follow were updated every day and then, come the first of December, POOF. I'm going through withdrawal and it ain't pretty!!

College is not for everyone and not going to college is not a sign of failure

A comment I posted on Boston.com in response to an article further condemning our elementary, middle and high schools because all of those students who finished with their secondary education and moved on to college did not necessarily get a degree. I maintain that a college degree or a high school diploma are not, in themselves, measures of success. Instead, it is the student who is evidence of success or failure in how she feels about her life, what her goals are and how prepared and realistic she is to meet and exceed those goals.

College has been touted for years as the be all and end all for students. Those who do not go are considered losers or not worthy.

The truth is college is NOT for everyone. The fact that every student who attends college does not complete college is not a sign of a failing school system, except in the fact that that system pushed and pushed and pushed students towards college when those students were feeling pulled in another direction.

The fact that Bill Gates did not finish college is not a poor reflection on his high school but a reflection of Bill Gates, he knew what he wanted, he knew how to get it and he did. That is how we should look at our students. No, they will not all become the next Bill Gates, but they probably wouldn't be the next Bill Gates if they finished college either. College is a hugely expensive investment that is not for everyone and leaves many (graduates and non-graduates alike) with nothing but a huge mountain of debt.

You can be successful without college and it's time we stopped pushing it so much to everyone. Now, it is not for the teachers, administrators, parents, etc to make that decision but if a child feels she should go to college (or wants to) and is able, she should. If she feels like college isn't for her and she has other plans, she should be able to make that decision. What's the point of thousands, tens of thousands or hundreds of thousands of dollars spent or debt incurred if all along the student knew she wanted to be a fire fighter, or a hairdresser, or something else? Or she didn't know WHAT she wanted to be but went and dutifully got her degree only having to re-do it later when her true passions emerged?

Musings of Procrastination

Because I don't want to start on my work or maybe I do but I can't....One is the non-ADHD definition, the other the ADHD definition. This is not my musing, but I'll go with it for a moment anyway. So, if I don't want a label, I'm a lazyass, but if I don't mind the label, I can still be a lazy ass without it actually being my fault*.

On to my musing. I've figured out the whole pro-choice, pro-life Republican/Democrat conundrum and it goes like this:

Pro-Lifers and Republicans (definitely for the first and mostly for the second): don't care what happens to your child after birth, they just want it to be born. (Healthcare? Special needs services? WIC services? Parenting classes? Financial Aid for college? Uh, not on their dime.)

Pro-choicers and Democrats (again, for the most part): don't care if your kid is born or not BUT if it is, want to make sure that it has the same good start in life and the same chances as any other kid..(Healthcare? Special needs services? WIC? etc, bring it on, baby. It's just a child and can't help it.)

Which is more child friendly?

*This is not to say that ADHD is not a real condition or can be turned on and off and it's not that I'm disparaging anyone who has a mean case of it...I'm just saying sometimes I feel like I'm right there on the cusp and the way I choose to lean (my fault, not my fault) says a lot.

Rock the Vote

Get out there and vote. And, if there's a Ben and Jerry's near you, go ahead and get you some free ice cream when you're done. Don't waste your time reading this silly blog, I almost never update it.

VOTE!

My smaller government conundrum...

Those on the right have a love affair with saying they support smaller government, especially when it comes to the tax issue. At the same time, those on the right want to get all up in the personal business of me as a woman, of gays and lesbians, and others. They want to do this by passing laws, laws that need some sort of enforcement. How does that make the government smaller? How is regulating my choice to have children or not different from regulating what kind of health care I am allowed to have? Or education for my children?

John McCain, in reference to the health care issue, said that the government should stay out of the relationship between him and his doctor. At the same time, he wants to insert the government whole hog into the relationship between me and my doctor....What part of hypocrisy isn't being understood?

Amazing!

Actual title of an e-mail just received by me:

	"> AdminSecret		5 Steps to Becoming an Administrative Assistant

Don't you want to know the secret?

Happy Columbus Day

Currently the most un-pc holiday we celebrate! Hurrah!

I was sitting around wasting disgusting amounts of time in order to procrastinate doing what it is I actually need to be doing and figured I'd write a blog post. Only problem with this amazing idea is I have very little to say. Urgh.

My adorable dog managed to slide himself under the chainlink fence last night. Doing so, he arrived in the cemetery next door where he seemed to get himself a bite of skunk butt. Then he dug around and freaked out for a while (understandable if you've just been sprayed in the mouth by a skunk). He couldn't figure out how to get out of the cemetery and back into the yard, so my husband had to walk all the way to the break in the fence and call him. Surprisingly, there wasn't much of a smell...until we leaned in towards his mouth that is. Then he smelled like something very, very evil died and decomposed in there. What do you do for skunk spray in the mouth? We determined that the usual remedy for external spray (hydrogen peroxide, baking soda and dawn) wasn't really going to cut it in this case of internal skunk. So, we wet him down and rubbed a bunch of baking soda around his head and then forced open his mouth and sprayed some water in there and then got some baking soda in there. At this point he was about as happy with us as he was with the skunk. He mouth still reeked of horrible, awful, evil things but lacking the necessary imagination to come up with a better alternative we called it a night and went to bed. House still smells faintly of skunk today. Dog still seems offended by his own breath. On the bright side, it looks as though getting sprayed in the mouth (as long as it's not YOUR mouth) is the least offensive option. There was none of the caustic, eye watering skunk smell just creeping all over the house, it's more faint. And we don't have to taste it.

I really should go do some more work...why oh why has my motivation abandoned me? Maybe I need a nap.

Wasting my free time

I have things to do. None of them particularly urgent, but still valid and necessary. I am sitting on my chair (in my chair? which?) reading blogs and playing senseless facebook games. Why am I not motivating to, oh, take my pants to get hemmed or start my assignments for next week or pack for Maine? Why, Why, Why?

I've been here for about 4 hours. I should move....I should get the damn pants hemmed.

Maybe I'll do that...

To Buffett or not to Buffett?

That is the question. Whether tis nobler...oh, wait, Buffett, not Hamlet.

I live in the Boston area. Buffett is playing in the Boston area tomorrow (and yesterday but we can't really go backwards). Hurricane Hannah is supposed to hit same some time tomorrow night. Because of this, Buffett has moved his show to the afternoon. Because of THIS loads of people are selling their Buffett tickets (well, probably the time change and their fear of the impending weather.) I can take both, I lived in New Orleans, I WORKED this past Jazz Fest in the rain.

I can't decide if I want to go or not. It's still expensive. The husband is wishy-washy. I usually see Buffett for free in really little rooms (which is maybe a story that will come out with this blog. But for now, suffice to say, it's a combination of working Jazzfest and formerly working at Margaritaville, which is how I got the Jazzfest gig.)

Right...I've seen him like a bazillion times. It's expensive. I don't have proper attire ready. I don't have proper tailgating accoutrements. I'm still considering it.

Maybe someone will offer tickets at such an obscenely low price that my mind will be made up for me.

To Do List:

To Do 8/26/08:

*Figure out this blog thing
* Write regularly on said blog
* Re-learn math to take the MTEL for future employment and so all this grad school doesn't go to waste
* Get pregnant (again, first didn't take)
* Stop being so afraid of new things
* Stop wasting so much time
* Quit smoking
* Enjoy the moment more often
* Cook more, bake more
* Become weaned from prepared foods I can make myself (ie-bread, pasta, salsa, etc)

Check back later to see if any of this actually happens.